Control is crazy.

Don's sermon at PICC brought this chick to her knees before the Most High God. That was the topic of the sermon, El Elyon - Most High God. (aside - PICC's updated website has Messages on Demand so if you're interested you can listen to the sermon here.)

So - during the sermon, I took some major body blows.

• Punch 1 - My greatest struggle is not being in control. ouch
• Punch 2 - Do I trust in God Most High, or am I going to do what I thing is best and convenient for me? oouuff
• KO punch - Every time I try to control my life, I am making myself "most high god." She's down for the count folks.

The worst part is, I've fought this fight before, yet here I am again dancing around the same ring. So, where does this need to try and control things come from? Pretty basically, fear. For me, fear of what the future holds for me. The fear masks itself as impatience sometimes - but when you get right down to it . . . and call it what it is . . . it's fear that God really isn't going to act on His promises for my life.

So - how to respond to fear? Not with trying to manipulate or control to make things work out MY way, but with understanding what God says about it.

2 Timothy 1:7 says (my paraphrase) God doesn't give me a spirit of fear; but a spirit of power, love and a clear mind.

The clear mind is an important cue - when I find myself going all "crazy girl" about things - I need to step back and realize where that's coming from, 'cause it 'sho 'nuff ain't coming from God's spirit!

It's coming out of a frightened little girl inside me, who isn't listening to her Abba Father.

It's been awhile - and another flood

Yep. Another inside the house flood. God works in some mysterious ways His wonders to perform. I came home from work on September 2 to find water spraying at high pressure out of my hot water heater's expansion tank. I don't know how long it had been going - but the result was having to replace all the carpet downstairs and the linoleum in the downstairs bathroom. Also living with blowers and dehumidifiers for a week and a half - and without hot water for almost a month. (Well, I've been single and celibate for almost 3 years now, maybe I needed the cold showers!) :-) Tonight, I'm sitting in my living room that is freshly painted - but the floor is only plywood and the toilet from the downstairs bathroom is still sitting out here next to the couch - very convenient!

The first miracle in all this? The downstairs of our house is getting completely upgraded with the insurance settlement. Tile, hardwood floors and new carpet; also freshly painted walls. It's going to be awesome.

God is great - Jevovah Jireh - God our provider.

The other major blessing in all this? I am learning, and Elizabeth is learning, to really TRUST.

God is Sovereign.

Really, really. (If you've seen Shrek 2000 times like me, you got that)

God has our best in His heart. I am a child of the King. Elizabeth has seen me trusting God through some of the most difficult times a family can go through. When she walked into "Flood, Part Deux" she found me, drenched, standing in the living room, saying over and over "all things work together for good, all things work together for good, all things work together for good. . . " Water was still spraying everywhere - we were trying to find someone to come cut the water off (neither of us had the physical strength or Lineman's plyers to do it) and I was kind of freaking out - but I was claiming, out loud, that God was going to use this for our good. And He has. Over the past years, I've gotten to a state of total dependence - it has NOT been an easy place to get to, but I have to say I'm glad I'm here.

Oh yeah, and another way God used this seeming "mess" - a friend and brother in Christ that needed construction work is taking care of all our repairs/redos. Another friend of ours said to me last Sunday, "I'd been praying for _____ to get some work, but I didn't mean it to be at your expense!"

I just say "Thanks be to God for your glorious grace"

. . . and my new wood floors. :-)